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Are You Ready To Be Lucky In Love

So do you think that in any way it’s harder to find a mate today than let’s say ten years ago?

I think it might be, I think we all as a society have higher expectations and the older people get and the more times they’ve been through serious relationships, either a marriage or a long term committed relationship, the more clear we get on what we don’t want, and then what we do expect, and we get a little bit jaded with life sometimes.

I was reading an article in the Wall street journal a few weeks ago, and they were talking about how people meet, it used to be that many met, in college, and got married. That doesn’t mean that you’re the wisest at the time, and that that whole biological thing is going and you go off and get married and make babies, create a career. And even the young people, they’re so focused on getting the right education so they can get the right job; they’re not going into serious relationships, so even they don’t have the skills when they get out of college. And they start flailing around.

So now it’s common for people not to get married until they’re in their thirties or forties. And the problem, one of the problems is we spend so much time at our work that we don’t get out and meet other people. And dating someone at work is not a good idea, because more often than not they don’t work out, and then you have this problem of working with someone you’ve broken up with.

Here are just a few quick tips:

Make a list. Rather than just settling for what comes your way develop an idea of the qualities that you would like. This can be just for starters and your list can change and be refined over time. You might find that your perceived “ideal” is not what you really want at all. Be willing to meet people that you think aren’t your type.

Be Open. Learn to be friendly and open in all situations. Being guarded and standoffish won’t draw people in. Adopt a spirit of goodwill. Try to be warm and have a ready smile, you never know who might be just around the corner.

Get out of your comfort zone. Yes, you can meet people online, but get out of the house, get active. Sign up for a new class, take a trip, make new friends, network. Many people have meet a great match through friends or family. You never
know which one of your contacts might know some one that might be perfect for you.

Attention. Allow yourself to be fully present, look them straight in the eye as you’re listening. Really listen instead of waiting just for your turn to jump in and say what you need to say. It will make a big difference.

Honoring the other person. When we do that, really we’re honoring ourselves by being the right type of person

Build rapport. Building rapportt is to imagine that heart to heart connection, so that you’re really present with them. Focus on being a good listener. The best conversationalist is a good listener. And when you do say something, ask good questions. Ask questions that are designed to help reveal what the other persons’ interest aret without grilling them. They’re fun; they’re supposed to be fun.

Learn to be happy with yourself. Life is too short and there are plenty of ways to create a really beautiful life we can celebrate without a partner. And actually, if we’re really honest, we need to get to that point before we find a partner.

Appreciate. When you do meet someone learn to appreciate them just as they are. Realize, the he’s or she is not perfect, thinking that once we’re married, or once we’re a solid couple, I can change this that and the other about them “The home improvement project.” doesn’t apply to people.

Realize. Relationships are about growth for both partners. We learn, grow, and become our best self through our relationships with others.

Believe. Believe that you will succeed and you will. Take some positive actions and see what happens. So being lucky in love might not be so much about luck as being aware, and willing to possibly make some small changes in how we look at things and what actions we can take.